The last thing you want to deal with is your children throwing tantrums in public. You don’t want to deal with it when many judging eyes are looking at you. Before you panic, here are some tips to help you address the situation.
1. Determine the cause
Children have tantrums for a host of reasons. Some are hungry, and they will feel better when given something to eat. Others want to buy items at a store, and you declined it. Ask yourself what could be the reason if they are unable to express themselves. You will know what to do next if you understand the cause.
2. Don’t react right away
Your immediate reaction is to panic since you want the situation to end. Before you do it, make sure you assess the situation first. Will your immediate reactions help? Is getting angry going to stop them from throwing tantrums? If you don’t think anything is going to change, there’s no point in reacting. Give it some time before you take action. If you start screaming back, it will only worsen the problem.
3. Bring them to a safe place
You can’t resolve the problem right away, but you don’t have to deal with it in public. Find a way to bring them to a private space and talk about the situation. They might need attention, and you can better address it without people’s prying eyes. You will also start to relax when you know that no one is judging you for your parenting skills.
4. Distract them
Children will throw tantrums for many reasons, and they might not even know what they’re crying about in the first place. Distraction helps. Make sure you successfully divert their attention to other things. If you’re at the grocery store, ask them to help you find something. You can also ask them to push the cart with you. If they already know how to read, let them read your checklist and mark the paper when you already found the necessary items. If you’re in public, talk about your dinner plans. Give them something to feel excited about. It will distract them from what’s going on.
5. Always bring toys with you
You already know what your children like. If they love playing with toy robots, always have them with you wherever you go. It’s even better if you let them bring their own bags. Allow them to fill the bags with toys and snacks. They will come in handy later if they start throwing tantrums. You have something to distract them with.
6. Give in to one of their demands
You can’t always agree to what your children want to have. They will get used to it and start to feel spoiled. Instead, ask them to list several demands to stop throwing tantrums. Find the most reasonable request and give in to it. For instance, they want to go to another place. If you’re heading in the same area anyway, you can say yes to it. It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It also helps build relationships if you say yes at times.
If you have no idea how to navigate this tricky issue, you can work with parent coaches. They will give you tips on how to help children. Consider parentgood.app for more information. You can also ask specific questions related to handling tantrums or other parenting issues.
7. Stop thinking about what others think
If you’re trying to control the situation, focus on getting things done. Your goal is to stop them from crying. It’s an issue if your mind is busy thinking about how others are judging you. People will judge you regardless. Don’t bother about what people will say. Remember that if the other parents believe you’re terrible, it doesn’t matter. They’re not perfect, either.
8. Learn from previous experience
Your children will throw tantrums, regardless of the location. They will do it in public or private. It depends on their mood. They have already thrown tantrums privately before, so take note of what you did to deal with the situation. Learn from it. In the future, you already know how to handle tantrums in public. You already have an idea about what works and what doesn’t.
9. Come closer to your children
When talking to your children, try to level with them. Don’t stand and scream at their faces. If you try to go down, they will feel your empathy. They will also see how much you care. It’s an effective technique to control the situation.
10. Never compare them with other children
Some parents believe that comparing their children with others will calm them down. It will make them realize how wrong they are and try to behave well. It’s untrue. If anything, their behavior will become worse. They don’t even understand what good or bad behavior is. They only want to cry and get what they’re asking for.
11. Don’t feel frustrated with yourself
It’s natural for children to have tantrums. It has nothing to do with your parenting skills. You might also not get it right the first time, and it’s not something to feel bad about. Every parent goes through that phase, and there’s always a chance to learn. If you feel humiliated because of your children’s behavior, shrug it off. Don’t let one situation determine your parenting skills. You will get better as days go by and as you experience more challenges.
12. Seek help from experts
If you feel like it’s already too much of a burden, seek help from the experts. You can also ask your fellow parents for advice or go to counselors. They will provide ideas on how to deal with your specific problems. Of course, nothing is perfect, but there’s no harm in following their advice. If it doesn’t work, try something else.
Don’t forget to give credit to yourself for doing a great job. You might not do everything right the first time or at all times, but you’re learning. Take a break whenever you want.